Watched ‘The kids are all right’ last night and oh, a few truths sure struck a deep chord.
The first being that we are surely, inevitably headed towards that most incomprehensible of time periods in one’s life which are otherwise known as, ‘The teenage years’. Oh God help me! A period where its hard to tell who is more confused, the child or the parent. The days of teenage angst, you-dont-know-anything and leave-me-alone’s. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. Oh boy! Makes me want to repeat to myself and fervently believe what we tell our son all the time, ‘Remember, its only a movie’.
You know, that also goes a long way in explaining my mother’s often harried, sometimes murderous and perpetually resigned look all those years ago. Because of course nothing was EVER my fault. And if she happens to inquire, it still isnt. ;D
But the most fundamental truth of all, from the moment the nurse/doctor declares that you are going to have a baby, every decision, every choice comes under the microscope. Everything is hashed, rehashed, argued, researched….countless hours spent sweating over what is the right choice. From diapers and baby food to what medicine to what nursery and school. The list is endless. We frown, we coddle, we discipline, we teach principles of humanity, of right and wrong, of sharing and learning to let go and hope they all stick. We kiss the boo-boos away and above all, we love unreservedly and unconditionally. For 18 intense years, holding on to our patience and sanity by the skin of our teeth, we nurture them under the shadow of our wings, giving them our strength and teaching them how to fly. But the day finally arrives when they must take their first flight, alone. The day arrives when it is time to stand aside and watch them unfurl their wings and soar. And when they do, you hope and pray that over the years you have done some things right and those are the ones that count.
Of course, a parent’s duty is never done until the last breath is drawn but it is never quite the same again. We will still share in the joys, sorrows, successes and disappointments. We will still continue to dish out advice at the drop of a hat, whether it is wanted/heeded or not, but, it will never be quite the same.
Because this time around, it will be our turn to grow and learn to share. This time around, it will be our turn to let go.