Ah, to write. I love the idea of writing. Of words. I love words. I think they are delicious. Enriching, soothing, exciting, a breathing space. There is such beauty in catching hold of that first bead, that first word, tugging gently and watching the whole string unravel, glittering brilliantly, one precious word at a time. The beauty can be as much in the smooth flow, in the rhythm and cadence, as in the meaning. Each word in its place. Each word hitting the right note.
Oh that makes it sound so easy. And it should BE that easy. Lord knows, we have constant thoughts throughout the day. Every second of every day. Night even, through our dreams. Yet, when faced with an empty page, they all seem to flee. Hiding in the dark recesses of our minds, refusing to come out. Stuck, after the first bead, in the door jamb.
And sadly, the reason they refuse to budge is me. Because of the mighty obstacles I have put in their way. It is I, that am making it so difficult for them to flow into the light.
And what obstacles might these be?
The obstacle of self importance.
There are two sides to this precious coin.
Self Importance side one: Afraid of rejection, ridicule, mockery, but most importantly, of being ignored…..
Self Importance side two: Cringing at the idea of, ‘me me me me’, which is what the blog boils down to.
The obstacle of not listening.
Not listening to your own inner voice but trying to listen to your possible readers’. Needing to cater to what the ‘audience’, if any, might want to hear.
The obstacle of not caring enough.
Knowing with conviction that what I have to say has either been said before or has no value whatsoever and is just a waste of space. Otherwise called the obstacle of ‘Who cares? Apparently not me’.
The obstacle of perfection.
This ties in with the ‘not listening’ one. Aiming for perfection, whatever that might be. And not just any old perfection mind you, but perfection according to the rest of the world. Hmph! I might as well try to grow wings and fly to the moon as try to conquer that one.
Is it any wonder then that they refuse to come out? Heck, it makes me want to join them in the closet.
But am I going to? Heck no! But what I AM going to do is make a promise to myself. A promise to overcome all the above obstacles because they are all imaginary. They are of my own making and therefore can be and will be overcome.
And why make the promise?
Quite simply because writing, self expression, makes me happy. It gives me joy.
Quite simply because I am not trying to save the world, just myself. One thought, one blog at a time. Connecting with and listening to my self. My true self. And who can do that better than me?
And last but not the least, this is the way we truly connect with others is it not? By sharing our true selves? People who really care do not ask for perfection, they only ask you to be human and honest. And that is a good aim, yes? True connection. Honesty.
And so in honour of all that and more, the obstacles can simply go take a hike! Shoo I say!!